what pa..

BUNIES AGAIN>>. ayun... nagsawa nako sa kanila. they're worse than babies! grabe... i have to change their "diaper" twice a day then clean their crib for 30 mins! HAAY>>>>.. i built a small cage na outside where i can transfer them. they can pee and poo anywhere they want and i wont care. the stuff get to the ground agad. bahala silang mangamoy.. which reminds me.. they're probably very hungry now... oh well... mgdusa sila... angsama ko... first thing, i was so fascinated with them... now im willing to let them go on their own and suffer.. im bad... eh, walang disiplina e... theyre animals nga pero... even cats know how to use their "toiletls'... they're rabbits.. okay... bahala na... im gonna give them food and water and affection pa rin... if they escape and go back to the wild... its up to them to survive.

ayon rabbits...

ano pa... ive started composing songs again.. i am able to make art talga when there are intense emotions.. lately, sadness... the song will make me remember the feeling, pero i forgot the tune na.. something about lying to keep someone near, then living with a lie or taking a risk... basta.. and ive started drawing again... what have i been doing before, na i dont pay too much attention to these personal growth... pleasure.... maybe.. ah basta... but im back to smoking again... ganun talga if i dont exercise, i get stressed.. and i yearn for a smoke.. pero pag reuglar exercise, ok astig...

i forgot to give the oldboatman my reg form for the org. sorry hemmingway.. next week na lang.. malakas naman ako sayo di ba? andaming tests kasi.... ive screwed up pol sci.. wala talga akong kaalam alam sa mga political paek ek.. im willin to learn pero pag readings lang, im most likely to sleep after reading the first sentence...

ayan na naman problem with sustaining... the problem of the young of heart... andami kasing magawa na gusto ko gawin lahat na gusto ko... im tired of studying.. i think ive learned the most important lessons na... whatever knowledge that would be needed during my situation can be discovered laboriously or easily, alone or through discusssion. basta... i can live na. i dont dream of wealth.. i think i can managa living the ways of the poor.. im not spoiled anyway, bata pa laang ako, ive been used to dirt stuff and work.. pero maybe iba pa rin talga pag reality na.. magaganda talga ang mga konsepto pero ewan ko lang sa realidad... lahat as in lahat... nakakasawa din tlga...

ano na.. solution is.. develop values necessary for living this constantly changing yet boring reality. dream, pursue your goals, make friends, serve others... do actions na papalabas sa yo at hindi lang expressive o di kaya pansarili lamang... ayon... sound easy to do pero ewan kolang... lets see.

my black bunny

he's name's arel. a cute cute black black bunny. i didnt know that bunnies are sociable animals, read sa every bunny site na bunny's need to have a companion para they wont gt lonely and die early. John doone should edit his poem, no wabbit is an island. so, leo's gonna get me a female cute cute black black bunny for ashlar's company. i would love to prolong their lives pa but going to the vet when they're sick will cost me too much. the best i can do is give them company, food, and affection. wihee. cute cute black black bunny. havent figured out the name of the female yet. hmm... elar pronounced as ella. that'd be it. arel and ella.

anyway, the ghost is gone. the nightmares still come but no more looming ghost presence felt. haha. he's given up na.. i hope. he thought id leave the room siguro. no way. he'll come again, and i'll sleep next room again. but the nigh after that, t i'll sleep there again. the ghost will get tired, leave me, and hauntother houses. i just hope he wont posses my wabbit.

there lang.. i hate bugs bunny pa rin. he's sick right now.

there's a ghost in my room

july 1, 12:30 AM
badong and i talking sa stud period. bugs bunny comes, if u dont shut up ul be tasting my grinning teeth. badong says "whatever j'''" to me. laugh kami. he continues talking with a loud voice. abdfla;s;l. bugs shouts throws table. i leave to my room. lie on bed. let them fight. "bugs bunny" bangs on my door, i act like im sleeping i hate his guts. shouts at me, lem wake up! mom and louis comes rushing at my door. louis crying, mom crying. has not ur dad arrived yet? he's been out too long with out contacting us. dad's dead? shit. shout ako. fake tears. mom says ur dad's havin an affair. im more beautiful naman dan that girl. what?!! holy fuck.. they ride home sa tourist bus. we'll keep in touch. run run run.. i wake up

the ghost know that i don't acknowledge his formal existence. he wants me to believe in him kaya he invades me in dreams, and is not in dreams that metaphysical entities reach humans? darn.. i wake up.. feeling very scared... very scared.. i here him laughing now all around the walls of my room. i look out the window and see the accacia tree looming at me. whow.. fuck.. i thought i saw something move.. holy darndest shit... i gather my beddings and go to magic and jm's room. make latag on the floor and cower insyd my sheets. geez.... darn ghost..

i never had any good dreams in that room. always full of nightmares. only this time did thte ghost discover how to reach me in the best nightmare.. geez... darn ghost.... holy fucking ghost.. whew... that room is full of negative energy.. i've never prayed or meditated there. geez.. just full of evil.. accumulated evil.. geez..

but the sun came up and the effects of the nightmares vanished. hahaha. the ghost is gone again.. existence is outshined by the bright rays of the sun. hahaha. but only for now.. he will return... geez holy fucking dogstyle shit!.. but i will be fucking ready... phew.. come ghost.. hahaha.